Yesterday, at Calhoun Middle School eighth-grade Language and Literature class went on a hike up the hill to the Mc Alister gym. In Ms. Simmons’ class, the students were learning how to be journalists by practicing taking good observation notes to later turn into a story. Witnesses noticed that some kids thought it was stupid. One kid named Jake expressed, “I don’t see any action in this gym, and we can’t make up stories about nothing”. There were voices of students talking with their friends, some were kicking an orange cone around as if it were a soccer ball, and some were climbing on bleachers.
Out of nowhere, one of the teachers, Ms.Petit, scolded the kids for sitting on the bleachers,” Get off the bleachers, you’re not supposed to sit up there”. She demanded that they go off to do work as a journalist. One kid lost his journal in the bleachers while pulling up his pants. Coach Ordaz came to save the day by letting out the bleachers just enough for the journal to fall out. Who never imagined so much could take place in a room full of eighth-graders on a journalist assignment. When the class ended, the students left the Mac gym with a notebook full of drama.
lol i remeber that
ReplyDeletei like this story
You could've started your story different to catch your readers attention. But I like how you told us exactly what was going on , And how your punctuation was very detail and amazing.
ReplyDeletethe beginning was a little bit boring but other than that the rest was pretty good
ReplyDeleteI like the way that you didn't leave any detail out and didn't go to deep into it
ReplyDeleteI like how you really expressed what happend, and how it was like I could see what was happening. You could have grabbed more attention throughout the story but other than that it was great.
ReplyDeleteI like how you put dialogue.
ReplyDeleteits a good story with detale but it gets kinda boring
ReplyDelete